August 14, 2009


Kindergarten starts Monday. Just three short days away. We have done much to prepare. Step one was Joe's four kindergarten shots. Next came school supplies. Grandma Dolly, Joe and I spent the afternoon at Target picking out markers, glue, folders and other supplies essential for a successful year. The new 5T shirts and pants are hanging in the closet ready for cooler fall weather. New white tennis shoes are sitting by our front door. Joe will start Monday with his Jonas Brothers backpack filled with all the tools he needs to be prepared to start his educational journey.

And it is clear that I am not prepared. And the truth is that I've never been prepared for this wonderful journey of motherhood. In planning for our family, I was not prepared for the double, confirmation, blue line on the pregnancy test. I cried and cried. I was not prepared when my OB referred us to a perinatologist who said "your baby is not growing." I cried and cried. I was not prepared to fall instantly in love with a small, blonde baby boy named Joe. I cried and cried. I was not prepared to receive hugs and kisses from a one-year old that was a spitting image of me. I cried and cried. And so on Monday when I have to watch my baby start his first day of school, I will cry and cry. It is clear I am not prepared.

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